Let me tell you about derby names.

Picking a roller derby name is more serious and difficult than naming a child. …I mean, I’ve never had to name a child, but hear me out!

Not only are you picking a name, you are probably working harder to make it clever. You have to pick which part of your full derby name will be your nickname or “quickname” – what your teammates will call you on the track as they yell and cheer for you! You have to make sure an announcer at a game won’t butcher it. You have to check databases that track all derby names to make sure you haven’t stolen someone else’s name. You have to register your name in said databases. If anyone else on your team has the same nickname, you normally can’t use it.

Sometimes you can use a name if you live far away from someone else that already has it, but that’s kind of a jerk move. You may not ever plan on moving from your location, but you never know if that person whose name you took may have to move to your area. Then you end up being the jerk that stole their name they had before you, but you’ve been in that league longer. Don’t be that person. I haven’t had a derby person steal my name, but there just happens to be an adult film star that stole my name a couple years after I’d starting using it. I guess they don’t check the derby names database. It has drawn more fans to my derby page, but it unfortunately draws really dumb people who don’t understand why a woman in roller skates and a helmet, who looks nothing like said porn star, doesn’t want to respond to their sometimes vulgar messages. I try to keep it cheery with a “thanks for being interested in roller derby” and just hope natural selection works its wonders on them.

When I first joined derby, I had to start thinking of a name. Some women already know what they want for a name before they even lace up their skates. I didn’t even really know about derby names prior to my first practice! I knew I wanted to highlight my Norwegian heritage, so I muddled over names that included Viking and Valkyrie. I looked for input from team members and trusted friends. One of my Dad’s friends used to call me Norskie Pete when I was young, so that was a contender. Voluptuous Viking was high on the list. When I checked the databases, I notice a bunch of Valkyrie combos. There were less with Viking and I was leaning towards Viking Barbie, which was not taken! I liked that it highlighted sides of my personality, the girly lover of make-up and all things pretty AND the beast who (once she learned to skate) would mess you up! (Yep, when I joined derby I didn’t know how to skate, but that’ll be another story.) It was the perfect balance of tough and sweet.

Since my name wasn’t really a crazy one or particularly clever, I decided my number would be. At the time I started playing, our league, the Women’s Flat Track Derby Association (WFTDA) allowed numbers to be up to four characters which could include numbers, letters and symbols. I chose 36DD for my jersey number, which always led to some strange looks, comments or questions when we went out and about in uniform. Later on, WFTDA changed their rules for numbers to only use the numbers. Characters could still be included, but would have to be smaller than the numbers on the jersey. Since I knew double Ds could NOT be small, I changed back to my old soccer number I wore through high school and college, 11. That felt more “me” anyways, and through some weird doodling, I ended up with a really cool autograph too!

I figured my short name would be Viking. I wanted to highlight that more than Barbie. There was something I hadn’t planned on though. A very young fan base! Kids LOVE derby. They are always our biggest fans. They come and enjoy the game without worrying that they don’t understand every rule, something their parents tend to have a little more difficult time doing at that first game. And little girls love Barbie. There’s just something about a teammate’s (Hell’n Agony) child screaming “Barbieeeeeeeeeeeeeee!” like a crazed pop-idol fan that makes you start to love being called Barbie even more. I mostly leave it up to my teammates. Some call me Barbie, some call me Viking, some call me VB, and some even call me Marny, saying my real name is just as cool as or cooler than a derby name! While most teammates introduce themselves with their nickname, I always introduce myself with my full name and let others decide which part they want to use. One of my friends, Trigger Trixie, always introduces herself as Trigger. She is on a high-level team now and when we hear an announcer at a tournament call her Trixie, it is super weird!

Derby names are picked for several reasons. Some are based on famous people. We have a SCARlett Johachett on our team who we lovingly call Scar. We have some who have cleverly based their derby name on their own name. Half Pint is Half Pint Brandi, Molly Meet Your Maker picked her name based on the alternate versions of Marie (and some awesome alliteration too!) and Elle-beau Macaroni used parts of her first and last name to make up Elle-beau. Of course we call her Mac, but Agony’s daughter also uses the cutest version of her name and calls her Macaroni, which is awesome! Fictional characters are a good platform to work off of. Machete Poppins did that. And sometimes your name is just a way of being… like our teammate Squirrel!

I’ve been lucky on my current deployment to an Army girl working with the Air Force, who is pretty big on call signs. All the officers have their call signs, which are pretty awesome. I work with Killer, Monster, Thrill, Curly, Beta, Evil and Nubbin to name a few. There’s always a good story to go along with their call sign, which is pretty fun to listen to. I feel so completely humbled that my Air Force brethren have officially given me my derby name as my call sign. It’s great to be walking through our large work area and hear, “hey Lieutenant Colonel Viking Barbie!” After my teammate’s child screaming my name in glee, that runs a very close second in the awesomeness department!

One difficult thing we experience with derby names in our derby world is that real names do not exist! Facebook is hard. Seriously hard. You draw a huge blank when it comes to trying to remember someone’s real name! When someone at an event sees you are a roller girl, they will inevitably come up and say, “oh, so-and-so used to play on the team/plays now with you” and they are usually met with a blank stare and the follow up question – “do you know their derby name?” Thankfully we have a small enough team that someone in the group can usually figure out who they are talking about after a few questions, but it isn’t always easy!

If you want to try to generate your own derby name for fun, http://rollerderby.namegeneratorfun.com is a neat site.  Feel free to comment and share what it came up with for you!  If you want to look at the names already picked and being used on a track near you, check out Derby Roll Call at http://www.derbyrollcall.com.

I hope you were able to learn a little more about derby names today! And just remember, as athletes, derby women will not be happy if you ask them what their stage name is. It’s a derby name! You will never ever go wrong calling it a derby name.